she blew her brains out over a denouement

What made me happy today: Housecleaning, Cammel Lights 99's "Buy one Get ONE FREE!" (I dont know how those poor ciggerette companies stay in business! It's like taking candy from a baby) and Macaroni and Cheese.
What Didnt: Ground Beef, The price of a pint of Jim Bean at the corner liquor store, and attempts at writing.

It was my first day winter break for me. I woke up really late...apparently there was a power outtage downtown that caused a big traffic scene...which actually didnt effect me one bit because I didnt have to go anywhere or rely on an alarm clock this morning. I woke up, drank a Rockstar Energy Drink (i dont believe in energy drinks, but I believe this paticular one has something addictive in it...i had one a few months ago in an attempt to stay awake while driving to Santa Barbara, and now I buy one everytime i have two dollars to spare), cleaned the house, watched Bevery Hills 90210--Kelly and Brandon got back together AGAIN, after Brandon had cheated on her with some whorish journalist he had hired to write for the paper he and Steve Sanders started recently, "The Beverly Beat." I then had some Mac and Cheese. A good begining to a day that was to be full of brilliant, witty and intelligent writing.

If I was a brilliant, intelligent and witty writer.
I tried though, really i did. Nothing came of it though. I have alot of good starts. I have millions of good starts, good lines, good dialouge....but it seems very rarely does any of it pan out to a whole finished story. It got me wondering how anyone maps out a story from begining to end...do they know where it is going to end where they start? I've always believed in the school of, "go where the story takes you," but the stories I know aint at all cooperative in leading the fucking way.

Perhaps watching 90210 made all the good writing scared and run away.

ah well...I always try to cheer myself up in thinking about my list of pieces I have--its an actual list...many lists on paper and on my computer...things i jot down "to remeber for later."
Its later assholes, so fucking become brilliant and witty or else I will murder thee.

On a happy note, I just avoided stepping on an earwig (sp?) bug, and I am drinking Phil's last beer.
End Transmission.